Advice is a funny little thing. Personally, I’ll ask for advice and won’t stop asking people until I get the answer I really want to hear. Do you do that? It’s bizarre because I always ask the people closest to me first; the ones who would be the most honest with me. When they tell me something I don’t want to hear, I go to the next group of people. I spread the circle out wider and wider until finally someone says what I really want to do in my gut. That’s not always the best idea. I mean sometimes my gut makes poor decisions. For example, texting someone in the middle of the night or wearing four inch heels to a groundbreaking ceremony after it’s rained for two days. So it really makes me wonder why I keep seeking out the advice I want to hear instead of the advice that is actually good for me. Why do I constantly put myself in the position of saying “I should have taken your advice, but I didn’t”?
The biggest example of this would be my current situation. Within the span of six months, I graduated college, took a job, and moved out of my parent’s house. (Which if you have done this, I applaud you). At the time I was dating someone and while looking for places to live, I let that relationship sway where I ultimately ended up. I cleverly disguised it by saying that I was in a crunch and really needed to a place to live so I could start my job, but let’s be real. I picked up my life and moved for a boy. Now that move was fantastic until that boy no longer wanted to be with me. Then it got even worse because every friendship I had formed in my new home was connected to him and no one has spoken to me since. That’s when I said to myself, “You know, everyone told me not to move somewhere for a guy. I wish I would have listened.” Some days I still wish I could rewind things and do it differently, but I’ve learned so much.
Putting this into words may make it selfish now, but I did one of the most selfless things you can do for someone. I picked up my entire life, moved away from everyone who knew and loved me, and started over all in the name of love. That’s what love should be about, in my opinion. It should be consuming and inconvenient. It should be passionate and risky. If it’s not, then it’s mediocre at best and there’s too many ordinary things in life. Love should not be one of them.
So while sometimes I think “Man, I wish I would have listened”, I really have to thank my current situation. This brought me out of my comfort zone and showed me that while people might think I’m weak, I am one of the strongest people I know. There’s not many people I know who gave up everything they knew, got their heart broken, and came out stronger because of it. Maybe there’s something my gut knows that I don’t. Maybe it knows what will build character and endurance. And for all of those silly dumb moments, maybe it just knows what’s going to make me laugh when I look back on my life years from now.