Growing Up is Optional.

Things I have learned since moving out of my parents house:

1. The value of a ceiling fan is not truly appreciated until your master bedroom does not have one.

2. Bugs, while they might look like they’re from another planet, can’t actually harm you and they’re relatively easy to kill. With the exception of the black widow spider.

3. Hanging a picture is ten times harder than it looks and will take you twice as long as you planned.

4. Laundry, like dishes, pile up if you don’t have someone to remind you to do it.

5. Just because you are able to polish off a block of cheese before dinner doesn’t mean you should.

6. If you want your flowers to be healthy and happy, you can’t forget they’re on your balcony and not water them for days.

7. Baking 24 cupcakes can be disastrous when there’s only one mouth to feed in your house.

8. Valet. Trash. Service. — Never need a man to take the trash out ever again!

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