Things That I Fear (also known as Reasons I’ll Need Therapy)

1. Getting my hand stuck in the garbage disposal as it is turned on – I don’t know why my hand would be in the garbage disposal, but I cringe every time I turn it on just thinking what mangled mess would come out of there if indeed my hand was stuck.

2. Drowning – I don’t really swim. I don’t like boats. I don’t usually fall asleep in my tub. This fear stems from a CSI: (insert popular city name here) episode from years ago where they found bodies on the bottom of a lake/ocean/sea/swimming pool and it has freaked me out ever since. I think there was peeling flesh involved. No, thank you. I like my flesh exactly where it is.

3. Mentioning something I discovered via light Facebook stalking to someone I just met when they haven’t told me yet.

4. My windshield cracking and falling into my car while driving – this is not a joke. I’ve replaced the windshield three times since 2006. Three times!

5. Breaking a heel while at work with no replacement shoes. You think the pair of flip flops chilling in my back seat are there because I’m lazy?!

6. Haunted houses – one would think this is due to a traumatic experience at a haunted house, nope. I’ve never been to one.

7. Animals running out in front of me at night – I ran over a fox/rabid dog/mountain lion when I was 17. The image is still with me today.

Give me a little bit and I’m sure this list will continue. Stay fearless, my friends!


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