Reasons Why My Neighbors Probably Hate Me

1. My door slams every time I go in and out of it. I don’t mean to do this, but I either forget it’s going to slam or I have my hands full.

2. I attempt to carry everything that needs to go with me in one trip. Groceries, suitcases, pillows, etc. This leads to extremely unladylike grunts as I attempt to carry gallons of milk and Gatorade, bags of oranges and apples, and all other little grocery items that end up weighing a ton up a flight of stairs. This also is a major cause of #1.

3. I vacuum at 9:30 p.m. or 8:30 a.m. Apparently I don’t believe in daytime cleaning.

4. I’m THAT neighbor who decorates for every holiday with no shame whatsoever. #sorrynotsorry

5. The walls in my bathroom are extremely thin (which on occasion is really gross), and I don’t sing in the shower — I sing standing in front of my mirror while getting ready in the morning. And by “sing”, I really mean yelling/screeching to whatever comes on — which is usually Adele or Taylor Swift.

Anyone want to make me a Neighbor of the Year plaque to hang by my door?


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